Among all the things I do, I work retail for a few hours a week. The store I work at is fairly small but carries very high brands. Unfortunately, it comes with a high risk for theft.
So on days like today, where I witnessed more pairs being stolen than purchased, I wonder.
How do they justify it, how can they justify it? Im alone most of the times with all these wonderful pricey items, yet I would never dare to take any. Even though no one has to know and no one will know.
What happened to being righteous?
The worst is when I see them steal and they look at me in they eyes and tell me they have no idea where it is. Or when a mother with a 13 years old daughter are doing it. Or when it's a couple around the ages of 50. It doesn't matter what they look like, it seems that stealing is just a part of life for many.
Now I sure understand the concept of doing the right thing even when no one is looking. I could never bear to know I may be one of them.
Some of these people are so entrenched in the habit they can't help themselves. I forget which rich celebrity it was, maybe Lindsay Lohan, who got busted for stealing a pack of gum. Sure it's just petty theft, but she could have well afforded it! It seems like a weird sense of entitlement combined with a complete lack of morals.
ReplyDeleteI actually recently mentioned the theme of living solely according to one's moral compass. I think it's a failed system. Right and wrong are totally subjective and negotiable...
"Right and wrong are totally subjective and negotiable" yes and no. One of my patients at the prison lives by that, he believes that you cant go by society's rules and norms but by your own group. For instance, he is part of a gang and whatever the gang's code is is what he follows. He does not expect the same of people not part of the gang nor does he behave the same with people from outside. Therefore, he's have no problem killing you if you were playing the same game as him, but he would think twice if you were a complete outsider.
ReplyDeleteI discuss this a lot with him and at the end of the day, it comes down to the law. As a Jewish person, our law is the Torah but the universal law, or more like national or state is what you can and should expect everyone to go by
It's funny because I mentioned the law in my last comment and then changed my mind and erased it, because even the law and the threat of penalty is not enough for some people (ie your initial story, they're aware of the law but it doesn't deter them). As far as being able to expect people to go by the law- laws are also artificial so breaking them can be justified in their mind. Natural law was the way of the land before we moved to codes and there is still a lot of contempt for the law. I wish there was more clear universal law but even universal laws are only as good as the people who will own up to something or someone (be it god, be it the government, be it gang loyalty). If you don't take orders from anyone but yourself and your conscience was poisoned to death a long time ago, then I think there are ways for them to justify this behavior.
DeleteLike you demonstrate through your patient, people can accept any code of right and wrong to follow (in which case it would be subjective but not negotiable lol). But if they shun all codes, then their behaviors end up becoming subjective and negotiable... anyway in the end we can say BH for our upbringing.
Its so true, BH for our upbringing :)
DeleteI think that if I weren't Jewish, i'd be reckless...
I think there is a difference between someone that is a kleptomania and someone that does it for the rush or to acquire something that they want (not that either diminishes the "wrongness" of the act).
ReplyDelete"How do they justify it, how can they justify it? Im alone most of the times with all these wonderful pricey items, yet I would never dare to take any. Even though no one has to know and no one will know."
We always justify things, not just stealing. And if we think we are never really alone, then we won't even consider taking something that is not ours. One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Jefferson: "Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the whole world were watching."
I dont know how would you characterize someone Kleptomania. With the amount he steals? cause often, the rush comes from the thrill of possibly getting caught (thank you wondering minds :)) but legally, I dont think there is any recognition for Kleptomania. A robber is a thief.
DeleteWhile I was a madricha in a seminary, there was a girl who was a kleptomania. There is a big difference because it is an impulse that they can't really control. They don't even want the things they are stealing. You can google it if you want to learn more about, it is an actual problem/issue/thing.
DeleteI'm in the field, I know about these things and I know that its one of those thing hard to diagnose
DeleteSome people do it because they can't help it.
ReplyDeleteAs in, once they start, it's hard to stop, because of the thrill associated with getting away with it.
AS corti mentioned before, thank g-d for our upbringing. I like to think that even the laws that make no sense or seem too hard, at least teach us self control.
ReplyDeleteI once had a sixth grade student who was seen by the other teachers as a troublemaker. Always stealing. Always late to class. I looked into it, and he was always stealing food and always late to the class right after lunch. Hmmm. On further investigation, I discovered that the family was barely eating outside school. My student was stealing food so he and his siblings would have dinner. I addressed it with the social worker and by seeking tzedakah for the family anonymously and via other circles in my life.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget this child. In my opinion, he was not a thief. He was hungry.
When I hear about others who steal, I ask myself how the situation compares. Are they stealing because they don't know right from wrong or because they are needy and desperate? Or because of the rush? Or because they perceive themselves as more deserving than the people they see with purchases in shopping bags?
A child (past Bar Mitzvah) I know well was once caught stealing from the grocery store. There was money in the home and he was stealing glow-sticks and not food. The police were called, his parents punished him, and I told him the story of my 6th grade student a few years earlier. I asked him whether he thought the other boy was a thief. Then I asked him to compare the two situations.
As I tell my students often about most of the commandments, if these things were easy, then God wouldn't have needed to command us to avoid them.
That is a beautiful story. The thing is I work with criminals, or non criminals but prison population and the guys that steal from my store 99% of the time are interchangeable with the guys at the prison.
DeleteIm surrounded by tto much crime and disrespect to even begin to think this positively about people who steal. Although I do understand, sort of, if someone steals a pair, they need it, peer pressure or whatever. What infuriates me are those who steal with them knowing i see them but wont do anything about it, and will take like 4 pairs. That's a slap in the face
You hide your identity, and they hide their mischief. Your dismay is really a rebuke to yourself but you appease yourself by deflecting it to others.
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents.