Among all the things I do, I work retail for a few hours a week. The store I work at is fairly small but carries very high brands. Unfortunately, it comes with a high risk for theft.
So on days like today, where I witnessed more pairs being stolen than purchased, I wonder.
How do they justify it, how can they justify it? Im alone most of the times with all these wonderful pricey items, yet I would never dare to take any. Even though no one has to know and no one will know.
What happened to being righteous?
The worst is when I see them steal and they look at me in they eyes and tell me they have no idea where it is. Or when a mother with a 13 years old daughter are doing it. Or when it's a couple around the ages of 50. It doesn't matter what they look like, it seems that stealing is just a part of life for many.
Now I sure understand the concept of doing the right thing even when no one is looking. I could never bear to know I may be one of them.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Lost opportunities
I love to be alone.
Most of the time actually, i'd rather be alone. Many people, mainly my mother, do not understand it. My mother is a socialite who will talk to anyone and truly enjoys it. You cannot meet her, walk away and then forget her. People who meet me always believe I am so much like her in that sense but what they don't know or don't understand is that for me, solitude is a better alternative. Then you meet my father and you understand.
So this past week end, my sister had a little girl and my mother flew in to spend time with her. Naturally, a few of my siblings and I came in to spend Shabbat together and be there for the Kiddush. Since my sister who had the baby reads this blog, this is my chance to tell her C is beautiful and that I am very happy for her. All and all, I had a great week-end with my family. The problem lies in the actual commitment to go spend time with the family.
I love to be alone yet I'm very into quality time with family and close friends. So I can appreciate the moment, I just have a harder time making that trip or that step to spend the time. And if i'm not feeling it, then forget it. I didn't want to drive in (forgive the logistics, we're all spread out) but I did because it's the right thing to do and I knew that I would have a good time. When I'm not feeling it, I always project to the future to see if I may regret later on passing on an opportunity of quality times. Eventually, it gets me going.
It's the same with dating. When I'm not interested in going out, not because of the boy, but because I have a better book at home, I try to project myself in two weeks perhaps wanting to go out but without any options. And even if it doesn't work out, you know I'm happy to walk away with the experience, memories and lessons learned.
In friendship as well, I'll pass on certain things that may bother me because I know I can have a good time despite my frustration. But I'm slowly putting a stop to it. I'd really rather be alone.
My father was alone for Shabbat and I was jealous. He told me: "This is better than the alternative" (I thought he meant better than having my mother home but he meant better than being invited out for meals).
When you stop wondering if you might have had a good time,
if you should have maybe said yes to that guy,
if you should have called your friend who came to town,
have you truly achieved loneliness?
Thursday, May 31, 2012
First time in five years
The prison where I work just had their first suicide since the last one five years ago.
Death by hanging. Don't even ask...
My supervisor was describing the scene and for the first time ever, it hit me.
Death is irrevocable.
Once the heart stops beating, no pulse, no life.
Death does not strike me as tragedy and if it were, the more tragic, the more I would be fascinated.
But listening to the progress of death in the last second of the person hanging, who is still conscious while suffocating, that image told me something.
Unfix-able.
Cannot be undone.
Maybe it's time I rethink my theories on suicide....
Death by hanging. Don't even ask...
My supervisor was describing the scene and for the first time ever, it hit me.
Death is irrevocable.
Once the heart stops beating, no pulse, no life.
Death does not strike me as tragedy and if it were, the more tragic, the more I would be fascinated.
But listening to the progress of death in the last second of the person hanging, who is still conscious while suffocating, that image told me something.
Unfix-able.
Cannot be undone.
Maybe it's time I rethink my theories on suicide....
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Guys, I need input
Sometimes you go out with a guy, you have a good time and so you go out again. All the dates go well but it's just not there for you. He's a great guy, well rounded, stable, cute (-ish), responsible etc... but he's just not it. You know he is kind of into you and so when you break up, you have to be careful to not hurt his feelings and you say: "you're a great person and bla bla bla but I don't see it going anywhere..." If you have better break up lines, please do send them my way!!!!
And then because you feel bad, you say something like: "I can see us be friend so if you want to hit me up next time you're in town or i''l give you a call.... Bye, all the best."
First of all, do you think guys are more likely to say that to a girl or the opposite? It seems that i'm always the one saying that while my best friends ends up being told that by numerous guys.
In any case, it's a bad move. Its almost like ducking the responsibility of facing the other and breaking off. Those 'friendly" relationships are pointless. Unless you have a common interest, such as sharing friends, shul, shabbat hosts etc.., there is no point in maintaining these connections beyond the networking aspect. You don't need to remain friends to pass him to set him up with a different girl.
The latest: I recently broke off with a guy in the exact manner described in the first paragraph and next thing I know, I received a letter from him in the mail. I won't give too much detail for sake of anonymity, but what do you think? It wasn't a love letter, it was just picking up on something I had said about the beauty of written letters. So yes, the letter made me smile but i'm not falling in love over a mail exchange.
And yes, I answered him.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
A German in Israel
As I explained in my last post (Click here), every student in my diversity class is doing a cultural presentation. I love it, I get to see other people's culture. For instance, one of the girls who presented yesterday is from the Virgin Islands. The dream. We were sitting there watching and listening, yet all our minds were in the Islands.
The other classmate who presented is my reason for this post. Originally from Germany, C is now married to an American and lives in the US. I don't need to say much about her to get my point across but I've had a few classes with her before and we've always had a great relationship.
Being Jewish from German descent, there is of course the big gap of the holocaust that whenever you meet someone from that country, you wonder how do they feel about themselves today. You wonder if they would do it, si c'était à refaire (if it were to happen again). You wonder if they hate you, if you should hate them, you wonder all kinds of things. But the truth is, you know that the past does not make the individual your enemy nor your worst nightmare. So I will admit I was curious to discuss with C the whole topic 80 and some years later.
She shared it with the class and my esteem has only increased since. Here is what she shared:
In her early twenties, C decided to take it upon herself to "correct" what her country had done. Therefore, she went to Israel and decided to volunteer in Kibbutzim. It was her way of giving back, it was her way of making amends. She explained that growing up, there was a big silence about the whole era of the Nazi Germany, not a silence of denial but a silence of shame. However, the new generation is not necessarily one who bears such memories, grudges, shame or whatever it may be. So she decided to do the one thing she could do and volunteered herself to the people her nation once set out to exterminate.
I think that's pretty incredible and unusual for someone nowadays to care about the past, and beyond caring, acts upon it in a righteous way. Our generation is much more worried about having a good time, not feeling sad, and not having too many responsibility.
C also said that she was asked to leave after two weeks because the Kibbutz had some holocaust survivor resident and they didn't wan't her there. So she moved on to a different Kibbutz. That's also character strength. I don't care if you're Christian, Jewish or what, we need more people like that.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Kim, you did one thing
Who knew I would ever find something nice to say about Kim Kardashian??
Don't get me started on her, because I have no sympathy for celebrities without talent. Harsh, but there are too many of those these days. It used to be that being a superstar was an earned title. Today it is administered left and right and Hollywood or the media never ceases to disappoint me. Please bring the fifties back... ( Madmen for a different post...)
Anyways, I was here to say something nice so here it goes.
I am currently enrolled in a class on diversity. All the students have to present a cultural autobiography which happens to be harder then it sounds. Imagine yourself trying to explain to your entire class where you come from. I love explaining my Jewish roots (and French) but I must admit it's hard to do so in front of a crowd that doesn't grasp most of what you take for granted. And it makes you really self conscious to be talking about yourself for about thirty minutes straight (which is partly the point of the exercise). You start worrying about how you're sounding and if you're cool and interesting enough...
Today, two girls in my class presented. They are both Iranians and Muslim but in a weird way, our presentations had lots in common. The emphasis on family, on education and on the motherhood were similar to the ones I grew up with. As you can imagine, growing up Muslim in America is not always an easy thing and although they are very attractive, they have heard the line about them being potential terrorists. Interestingly enough, they both agreed that their struggle growing up in America, land of freedom for all, had less to with religion than with physical appearance.
Now, keep in mind that I am talking about very pretty girls,darker hair color, gorgeous skin tone, nice features etc... . However, they both reported going through that stage in middle school, high school where they died their hair blonde in order to fit in the public school they attended. I had never thought about it, but it is true that back in the days, (seven years ago or so) blonde tall and skinny was the thing to be. Think Britney Spears, when everybody was dying their hair dirty blonde...And it has never changed until, like S, pointed out, came the Kardashians.
With their darker skin and dark dark hair, America's look has finally changed and if anything become more versatile. For S, Kim's celebrity is what made her gain confidence in her looks and identity. It was finally okay for her to have long dark hair, with a darker colored skin and a more exotic look. If you ask me, I think both of them are prettier than Kim but hey, it might be the only good thing Kim has ever done to our society.
Don't get me started on her, because I have no sympathy for celebrities without talent. Harsh, but there are too many of those these days. It used to be that being a superstar was an earned title. Today it is administered left and right and Hollywood or the media never ceases to disappoint me. Please bring the fifties back... ( Madmen for a different post...)
Anyways, I was here to say something nice so here it goes.
I am currently enrolled in a class on diversity. All the students have to present a cultural autobiography which happens to be harder then it sounds. Imagine yourself trying to explain to your entire class where you come from. I love explaining my Jewish roots (and French) but I must admit it's hard to do so in front of a crowd that doesn't grasp most of what you take for granted. And it makes you really self conscious to be talking about yourself for about thirty minutes straight (which is partly the point of the exercise). You start worrying about how you're sounding and if you're cool and interesting enough...
Today, two girls in my class presented. They are both Iranians and Muslim but in a weird way, our presentations had lots in common. The emphasis on family, on education and on the motherhood were similar to the ones I grew up with. As you can imagine, growing up Muslim in America is not always an easy thing and although they are very attractive, they have heard the line about them being potential terrorists. Interestingly enough, they both agreed that their struggle growing up in America, land of freedom for all, had less to with religion than with physical appearance.
Now, keep in mind that I am talking about very pretty girls,darker hair color, gorgeous skin tone, nice features etc... . However, they both reported going through that stage in middle school, high school where they died their hair blonde in order to fit in the public school they attended. I had never thought about it, but it is true that back in the days, (seven years ago or so) blonde tall and skinny was the thing to be. Think Britney Spears, when everybody was dying their hair dirty blonde...And it has never changed until, like S, pointed out, came the Kardashians.
With their darker skin and dark dark hair, America's look has finally changed and if anything become more versatile. For S, Kim's celebrity is what made her gain confidence in her looks and identity. It was finally okay for her to have long dark hair, with a darker colored skin and a more exotic look. If you ask me, I think both of them are prettier than Kim but hey, it might be the only good thing Kim has ever done to our society.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Words, words and more words
Do you ever stop to think about the meaning of words?
Do you ever get annoyed when you ask a question and someone tells you "wait, first define ...."?
I've always believed that arguments and debates are to be carried out only if the people discussing whatever matter, either know each other really well, or are willing to pay extra attention to the way in which a party uses a word.
You may agree that some of the words we use are generally defined by personal experience. For instance: love, hatred, laziness... You can only speak of love or hatred as you know it, not necessarily felt, it could be read, imagined etc... But however you understand what you see, hear or read about love remains remains relative to your perception and your capacity to go beyond and know what it might mean to others. The same with laziness, in a more pragmatical way; what you call being lazy may still very be active for the other and vice versa.
For that reason, you can be having a conversation with someone and think you know the person, or at least what you are discussing. Yet you don't because all you know is however much you can know being who you are, what you've experienced and how you define things.
Of course there are people who are capable of understanding the other, not in the cliche way of understanding, but they are literally able to push beyond their own thinking and perception to grasp what the other one is thinking and what it means to them.
When you find those people, don't let them go.
They are rare. (Although I may be the only one to care about this)
So, are there words that are defined intrinsically by their name and term?
I wonder, because if that were the case, we humans would be able to talk and only have to explain thoughts and ideas that we come up with, and not the words that we share with a billion other people.
Do you ever get annoyed when you ask a question and someone tells you "wait, first define ...."?
I've always believed that arguments and debates are to be carried out only if the people discussing whatever matter, either know each other really well, or are willing to pay extra attention to the way in which a party uses a word.
You may agree that some of the words we use are generally defined by personal experience. For instance: love, hatred, laziness... You can only speak of love or hatred as you know it, not necessarily felt, it could be read, imagined etc... But however you understand what you see, hear or read about love remains remains relative to your perception and your capacity to go beyond and know what it might mean to others. The same with laziness, in a more pragmatical way; what you call being lazy may still very be active for the other and vice versa.
For that reason, you can be having a conversation with someone and think you know the person, or at least what you are discussing. Yet you don't because all you know is however much you can know being who you are, what you've experienced and how you define things.
Of course there are people who are capable of understanding the other, not in the cliche way of understanding, but they are literally able to push beyond their own thinking and perception to grasp what the other one is thinking and what it means to them.
When you find those people, don't let them go.
They are rare. (Although I may be the only one to care about this)
So, are there words that are defined intrinsically by their name and term?
I wonder, because if that were the case, we humans would be able to talk and only have to explain thoughts and ideas that we come up with, and not the words that we share with a billion other people.
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