Dilemma - The Sequel

Thank you all for your advice on my dilemma. There was too much for me to answer in a comment so here is my answer to you.

Let me start by saying that because A loves to share all her dating stories does not mean that I do too. So typically, she tells me about her dates and I only tell her once it's over and I have a good story or if there is something to discuss. I can't stand talking about something that might never be and if i'm going to create imaginary scenarios, i'll do it alone it my head. So there is our first major difference. Shani, i'm with you on being tight lipped with the boys I date.

And Shades of Grey, I believe she does consider the guys she dates for me and other friend except that I don't think she quite grasps what kind of guy I want. And also, I'm certain she would be happy if it worked out but I am the one here walking on egg shells just because I know she was annoyed at his refusal to go on a second date.

Now Cymbaline has a point. It was only one date which isn't a big deal. But, I know her to be very sensitive and even if she should learn to take rejection less personally, the fact is she isn't quite there yet and I would not want to be the cause of her pain.

To pick on what Altie said, I must say that I don't see the point in waiting any longer because first of all, it happened a good three weeks ago and also because A is going out with someone else anyways. And, I was joking about bad mouthing him, I only sympathized with the fact that he didn't give it a second chance. If anything, I think I've been overly sensitive to the issue like Cymbaline pointed it out.

Which ties in to your response Professor, the two events were unrelated and happened three weeks apart. And again, I did not bad mouth him, I only showed her I cared and that I didn't understand why he didn't at least give it a second shot. (which I know understand)

Morah Betsy you were ahead of the game. I did speak to him for two hours on the phone last night but that's simply because of logistic issues. Hopefully we can set up a time to meet soon.

And just so you know, I asked A today if she would be okay with me going out with him. Of course she said she does not care and felt the need to add that anyways, she doesn't see it go anywhere. Oh well, maybe it will and maybe it won't...

SO much drama for a date that hasn't been yet :)

Dilemma

I'm in a sticky situation and I need some feedback.

A close friend of mine (A) recently went out with a guy that a common friend of ours (B) set her up with. She called me after the first date, sounding very happy about her evening and with great hopes at least towards a second date. 

Which never happened, because he immediately felt like they weren't good for each other and did not want to lead her on any longer.When she called me the next day to complain about how guys should give second chances, I sympathized and called the guy all kind of names (just kidding).

Anyways, yesterday I bumped into B and we started talking about life, girls, boys.... Naturally the conversation came along and we found ourselves discussing A and the guy. I was happy I talked to her about it because she gave me legit reasons why he said no that she couldn't necessarily tell to A. The more she told me about him, the more he sounded like a guy I could go out with.

Bottom line is I am going out with him, first date has yet to happen but probably in the week to come or so...

The question is do I tell A beforehand or do I wait to see if there is even a point in telling her? I do not wish for her to feel under evaluated as in like he's just dating girls in passing till he finds the one, one being no more or less special than the other. Then there is this neurotic concern on my part, that if it does go somewhere, I can't have her feel like he choose me over her. 

To tell or not to tell?