Us bloggers, we excel at analysing, mocking or simply writing about our dates, the people who set us up, the date itself and the conclusions we draw from it.
Tonight, I must vent about the pre-dating process, the one where you need to stand on a table and yell out to the crowd: "Hey, I'm dating, know anyone for me?", followed by the inevitable question you must answer: " What are you looking for?"
Maybe it's hard for everyone or maybe some girls do not care but first of all, I hate making it a statement -I am dating vs I am not dating. I understand some people set that barrier because they don't feel ready, or they don't really know what kind of life they want, nor do they feel like it's the right time for them. Fine, but to me, I can't even begin to tell you how that little phrase turns me off. If you wish, blame it on my desperate romanticsm, I still do not believe in making a lovely affair such as dating as it should be into a rational concsious decision. It's the sort of thing that should naturally happen.
So I am past the point where I realised it's a step I need to take because of the construct of our societies. I now answer yes to the dreadful "are you dating' question instead of going on a rant about the pointless meaning of the query. But the thing I struggle most with is the second most dreadful question, the "what are you looking for" question.
Of course I understand it must be asked and let me add that I appreciate it when strangers ask me out of a true concern or curiosity. They don't know me, the might know guys and they need to know somehow. I cringe inside but if I see it might have potential, I answer. (not for the purpose of conversation).
My real problem comes from the people who supposedly know me. If you know me, if we spend enough time together, wouldn't you be able to figure out if the boys you meet are a potential match?? Granted, I do not expect you to know everything about me and hashkafa can always be discussed and should always be discussed among friends. But aspects such as personalities, hobbies, life style...?
I get physically nauseous trying to describe what kind of personality I am looking for. I am not looking for anything, I don't believe in lists, in plans nor in categories. I believe in getting a feel of personality, an idea of the hashkafic page and a picture of lifestyle, if you know what I mean...
Am I being totally unreasonable?