A good friend of mine soon to be married called me today. She was not bearing good news for she announced that as of last night, there will be no wedding. "At least not with that guy", she added positively.
I struggled with maintaining a caring but not pitying tone of voice, and the conversation went on. She is in a tough position right now since all her plans have crashed, at a time where everyone is getting back into their routine life.
Not to mention, that out of a class of 14 girls, she is the third girl to brake her engagement (all within 10 months)
I feel for her. And for the eight other couples I personally know that have broken their engagement too over the past year... (not to mention those I've heard of, but that I am not acquainted with). Among these couples, 3 had been dating for about a year if not more, 3 had been dating for approximately 4-6 months and 2 for less than two months.
Despite different stories and different backgrounds, they all ended up in the same situation.
Some blame the system, some blame themselves.
I wish to understand why and how broken engagements have become such a phenomena setting the tone of a tragic trend.
As a caterer I see it all the time. Its very very sad. We have weddings canceled at least twice a month. A couple weeks back we had one canceled two days before the set date! But hey, better cancel it before the marriage goes through then to be 'stuck' later.
ReplyDeletei have known many couples who have broken engagements after various lengths of courtship. though sad , it is much better than the many divorced couples. i have been witness to over the years.
ReplyDelete@the professor: thats tough, i also know someone who broke it off two days before... I never think of the caterer and details like that that need to be worked out last minute :)
ReplyDelete@FSF: Agreed, better sooner than later but what big mistake is everybody making by getting engaged and then having to break it off?? What changed or is changing that makes it happen that often?
However terrible a broken engagement is, it definitely is preferable to going through with the marriage. Whenever I hear of a broken engagement, I think, "B'H! They realized that something isn't right."
ReplyDeleteAnd I have noticed that these breakups happen all over, despite time spent on dating or background.
Its not much to work out. A quick call to the caterer canceling it, and they forfeit around 40% of the catering costs. Closer to the wedding even more. (the couple who broke off two days before the date payed full catering costs!). A wedding broken off within the month ends up costing around half of what they would have spent had the wedding gone through.
ReplyDeletewow, its crazy.
ReplyDelete@princess lea: it bothers me that its so common, not that they actually broke it off because its a better option than too late
I have a working theory about it, which ties into some of my issue/critique of the way many people date nowadays.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's simply based on time (or some combination external factors), but also the way we approach dating and searching for "the right person" (not to mention expectations for engagement/marriage).
I'd be glad to post my working theory, but it's a tad long for a comment.