When people ask what I am looking for, the one thing they are sure they won't hear is the obvious reason in the orthodox communities. I am attracted by guys and only guys.
However, I am not attracted to criteria such as : - Is he learning or is he not?
- Does he want to live in Israel?
- Is he involved in Kiruv?
The questions can go on and on.
As much as I understand the benefits of being matched up with an individual who appears to have similar goals to you, I cannot put it down in words.
I can go both ways, meaning, I can see myself marrying a guy who learns a lot as well as guy who learns less. The cut off for me is the how, the why and the attitude behind the learning. ( and perhaps a distinction between a full time learner versus a professional)
Same for Kiruv or Israel... I do not want to get married by practicality. Certain life goals can be met while others can be worked out together. Yes Kiruv is a lifestyle; yes moving to Israel is an important decision (i'm sticking to my examples) But they aren't defined in black and white for we don't know where life might take us.
So why does it feel like resumes have our whole life ahead figured out?