While you may all be familiar with the behind the scenes of the Shidduch system, I am still discovering the "do's" and the "dont's". Until recently, I had chosen to stay out of the picture when it came to blind dates and blind set-ups. However, these days, it's getting pretty lonely in the no man-land of my life and I have agreed to take the big step. I officially started to date. UGH
I always thought I would be the girl to fall in love with a guy on a train, on a plane or at a museum, that things would go their own way, that it wouldn't matter if he learned or if I covered my elbows and knees.. because we'd love each other. And of course, we'd both love being Jewish whatever that may mean.Together, we'd figure out and decide how to be good simple Jews.
Enough dreaming, it hasn't happened. Time to move on with my times. Although, I am still resilient to the resume thingy...
As it is, most of my friends at this point, have resumes, go see Shadchanim and frequently go out with people who aren't even remotely close to whom they usually are attracted too. They hate it. But they do it.
Last night, we were having a girl's talk night, and when girls my age get together, 99% of the time the conversation is solely about boys. You see, one of my friends is being set-up with a boy who lives a few hours away. So we started arguing about what is right: for the boy to cover the distance or the girl.
Does it even matter?
In my Romanesque world, obviously the boy should drive to meet the girl. It is as romantic as it may get in a set-up. However, if I were the girl concerned, I wouldn't make a big deal out of travelling myself IF it were simple enough. What I don't understand, is the answer my friend got from the Shadchan:
"Sarale, you should drive to meet Yankele. He has such a long list of girls suggested to him, that if you were to drive, it will place you on the top of his list."